Tuesday, April 1, 2008

French Laundry at Home Forced to Close: Final Post

It is with a heavy heart and sad regret that I write this, my final post, today. Unfortunately, even though I have not yet completed this project, I have to shut down this site because of a cease-and-desist notice I received, which I've pasted below with the sender's permission:


Sophia Petrillo, Attorney At Law
Petrillo, Nylund, Devereaux, Zbornak, LLP
6151 Richmond Street
San Francisco, CA 94102

To the attention of Carol Blymire:

On behalf of our client and in the matter of French Laundry at Home (carolcookskeller.blogspot.com and frenchlaundryathome.com), we duly request that you halt production and publication of above-mentioned web site(s), pursuant to the precedent set forth in case #S82-34983734. We issue this notice in response to the following items of content discussed forthwith:

Article 1) On February 4, 2008, you posted objectionable content that included a hypothetical dictation from Mr. Keller to acclaimed author Mr. Michael Ruhlman, regarding sweetbreads, that read: "If you are an unskilled non-sewing loser named Carol Blymire who is the shame of her family and also her Amish homeland because of her non-sewingosity, then I guess you can take the easy way out, because clearly, Carol Blymire, you should not ever be around needles, even really dull larding needles, because we really don't need your fingers bleeding into this dish, Carol Blymire, or having it look even more hacked up than it probably eventually will because we know you, Carol Blymire, oh yes, we know how you roll." We object to this particular statement because Mr. Keller does not use, nor would he ever use, the word "non-sewingosity."

Article 2) Mr. Keller in no way elects to be associated with crustaceans (or mollusks) named after or in the likeness of any entertainment industry figure, Canadian or otherwise (May 14, 2007).

Article 3) On behalf of our client's relationship with California's Regional Apple Producers, we wish to object to your entire entry dated May 1, 2007 on the grounds that your content reflects defamatory practices, notably, cruel and unusual punishment to said produce mentioned herein.

Article 4) Our final complaint, and the issue that originated this complaint on behalf of our client, was your April 14, 2007 recommendation of REO Speedwagon as "Music To Cook By." We stand by our client's assertion that this was, and remains, an unfortunate, misguided choice.

We appreciate your cooperation with this matter, and look forward to its swift resolution. Should you wish to challenge or respond to this request, I may be reached at (719)567-6742.

Sincerely,
Sophia Petrillo, Esq.

cc: Michael Bloomberg




For a trip down memory lane, please click here.

91 comments:

Nikki said...

:::screaming upon FINALLY remembering it was APRIL FOOL'S DAY...............!!!!!!!!:::

omg Carol, you ROCK. I never saw my own blood boiling so hard and so fast. LMAO

Anonymous said...

If the high and mighties really feel that way, then its their loss. This site was great exposure for the cookbook and it'll just have to be another book I refrain from buying since the practices of their law department are ones I disagree with

Kate said...

At first I was confused. And the I remembered that someone at work asked me what I was going to do for April fools. You got me for a minute... until I started reading more carefully.

nicollette said...

OMG, you had me. I had tears welling up in my eyes until I read Article 4. Good Lord don't scare me like that again! I've just come to looooove your blog. Ask my poor estranged husband. He's been shut out of my life while I read from beginning to end. :P

nicollette

Anonymous said...

Hah, you almost had me! ;)

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha! Happy April Fools!

Anonymous said...

that's hilarious!

Natasha said...

OMG you almost got me there!!! good work. :)

Twist said...

Damn it. It's close to 4pm where I am and I keep forgetting about the fact that the rest of the world is still trying to trip me up.

I think you should cease and desist from using 'non-sewingosity' ever again.

fiat lux said...

And a happy April Fool's Day to you too!

Opheliac9 said...

I always fall for 4-1 pranks... *sigh* Thankfully, it didn't take me to read the entire post before I remembered what day it is... ; )

jmchez said...

I know what day it is!

Alexei said...

Fantastic April Fools!

Jessica said...

I'm so confused! I have just recently discovered your site (and love it)and now it is going away because you were mean to some apples and like REO Speedwagon?? Am I just too tired to get the joke? :) WAAAAH! Oh boy...I get it now (I hope?)! I did say I was tired, right?

JAFAR said...

I had heard that Blanche had branched out into Entertainment law.
I wasn't aware that the whole house had partnered up and were representing litigious chef/authors. I wish you the best. I hear Rose can be a pit bull in court. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Chris

Suzie said...

Ha! I had to read it twice!

Anonymous said...

ah, yes, the Golden Girls...loved that show! Nice try, Carol...;}

Anonymous said...

Oh Carol. What to make of you!

Anonymous said...

Ah. I get it. The Golden Girls.

Anonymous said...

April fool joke?

_ts said...

AAAAAAAAAACK!

You scared me! Good one. ;D

Tiffanie

"janie" said...

Lurker here, stopping by to say that this is NOT a funny April Fool's joke. If your blog shut down I'd be devastated.

nobleviola said...

you SO rule!

Shannon said...

I risk exposing my gullibility by asking if this is for real. I ask because the complaints the lawyer chose are friggin hilarious.

Really...is this real or a joke?

Shannon said...

Dammit. I just noticed the date. Dammit.

Cher said...

Oh, you wicked woman! I was skimming, half-paying attention and you got me... I nearly peed my pants. Touche.

Anonymous said...

You so had me at first!! Nice one :) Keep up the good work!

sygyzy said...

Beautifully done and it's only 11 PM 3/31 west coast time.

Anonymous said...

Yeah sure! I know what today is. Sucka!

Kitt said...

*SNORT*! You're mean! I read your intro and my heart just sank.

I sure hope someone gets you good today.

Brian said...

thank you for being a friend
traveled down the road and back again
doo doo dee doo...

clever

Anonymous said...

Good one! Man, you got me going kid. Happy 'Fools Day' to ya. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Who doesn't love the Golden Girls!

Lunch Buckets said...

Nicely done!

Page said...

You so had me for a moment. Until the REO, as it is truly amazing music to cook by.

Heh.

i just found out that I get to go to NYC next weekend I'll be calling Per Se tomorrow, but am sure I'll either be laughed at, or possibly they will tell me that they have a reservation available, and then scream "April Fool!!!!!!"

SO glad you'll be around a bit longer....

Fredrik said...

I'm in love!
Since I found your blog halv a year ago I've hungered for every new post each week.

Since the first post i read i knew you were a pretty amazing girl. Even bigger foofie than i am and what seem like an intressting and demanding career, with a touch of madness to atemt this project. All the post also reflect houmor and warmth.

Right now i'm writing a very demanding econ-paper and i'm sortof crosseyed. As a nice break i logged onto your blog only to meet the devestating headline "Forced to close" since i'm deadly tired from the paper my heart stopped for a couple of seconds. Acctually i read to article 2 before my brain jumpstarted and i realized i've been fooled. As i said, you are amazing, foodie and funny in the same person = LOVE

*Sorry for the lousy english, it's not my first language but this post has even been below my level*

aforkfulofspaghetti said...

Boom boom!

Columbus Foodie said...

Happy April Fools to you too. :)

Anonymous said...

Had me going there for a second... Good job

braingirl said...

I *hate* April Fool's day for the heartattack headlines alone! This joke is just cruel and unusual. (And very funny, of course.) Love the blog.

Robert said...

Don't take this thing lying down Carol. I'm starting the "French Laundry at Home" legal defense fund and will contribute the entire "Google Ads" revenue to date from my blog site (to date, $3.17).

That REO Speedwagon charge is going to be a tough one, though . . . They may have you on that one.

Anonymous said...

Nice try :-)
Anna

Anonymous said...

You had me at "Michael Bloomberg".

Anonymous said...

April Fools?

FlyerFan said...

My first thought was "WHAT?!!???" Then I remembered the date......very nice!

JordanBaker said...

You had me until "We object to this particular statement because Mr. Keller does not use, nor would he ever use, the word 'non-sewingosity.'"

Because I've heard him say that exact word AT LEAST three times on various episodes of Top Chef.

Anonymous said...

Oooh, you so had me. Nice one!

Liz said...

That's hilarious! Good job!

Tony said...

I was so mad for a few minutes, then the REO Speedwagon comment got me thinking...April Fools.

Good gag, glad your still up and running.

spooneroonie said...

Carol, this is a travesty! We have to meet and talk about this. I propose a meeting over at the Rusty Anchor. I called and they allow people to use the word "non-sewingosity" and the only apples they have on hand are in a bottle of Apple Pucker.

Oh, the humanity!

Chris said...

Oh ho ho no, I'm not going to be caught out twice today. Already had to have a humiliating climbdown over this:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/food/2008/04/deconstructed_delia.html

Well done Carol, and keep it up.

Rosemary Heiss said...

Good one! This rivals the Google April Fools ad I heard this morning for Gmail Custom Time.

We still have sooo much to learn from you.

Nayiri said...

You know, you totally had me until "Mr. Keller does not use, nor would he ever use, the word 'non-sewingosity.'" Up to that point though...

JoP in Omaha said...

You 'bout knocked me out of my chair yelling "Say in ain't so!!!" Then I remmebered that today is April 1.

Thank goodness.

Now I'm sitting in my chair mumbling about the undo shock I endured.

Scotty said...

As both a professional chef and a recovering attorney, I voluteer my services to defend you in this matter, assuming I can persuade your local judiciary to admit me Pro Hac Vice.

My own thought on this great day are here: http://cookingintheory.blogspot.com/2008/04/meal-to-remember.html

GCarter said...

Glad that you didn't include some attorney's email address, because I definitely would have shot off a very angry missive before I actually sat down and read the post! :)

the italian dish said...

Geezow, Carol. Really.......that was low! You really had me going! Hardy har har to you, too! They must be laughing their asses off over at the French Laundry.

C(h)ristine said...

OMG--april fool's...? I read this totally flabbergasted until I realized, "hey...."

good one!

Katie B. said...

Holy crap. How gullible am I? It wasn't until the mention of REO Speedwagon that I got the least bit suspicious. I'd wondered to myself, "Gosh, Self, Keller is a wet towel, and why would these people be upset about apples?" Great prank!

Anonymous said...

California Regional Apple Producers = CRAP

That's what gave it away for me. Because, like you, I am 12 most of the time.

Anonymous said...

OMG, I called that phone number and it's equally spooky and hilarious. How do you know this shit???!!!! :)

Bel Air said...

Sophia Petrillo, Esq. Ha! You're hilarious.

Anonymous said...

wow, i got had.

Anonymous said...

Golden Girls eh? *Very* clever...love your blog, many thanks, Bill

Cynthia A. said...

Nice one.

I actually gave a little gasp when your page came up. You got me!

Tor said...

Congrats, you got me.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I was about to call all my lawyer friends to help you take someone these people on!!! Then I read the letter. Your awesome!

Anonymous said...

It was the CC: to Bloomburg that finally opened my eyes! :)

M. Bloomberg said...

Carol - I cannot tell you how disturbed I was to receive a copy of this letter. As Mayor of NYC I have had to deal with many traumatic moments, but this may be the most personal. I have read your blog for several months and become enchanted with your style, wit and culinary talent. In fact, I tried at one time to buy The French Laundry from Chef Keller as a little gift for you. (that would indeed be case of "the biggest gift being from me"). I hope you survive this challenge. Courage my friend. Mike.

Loving life in said...

ba-doom *tch* (the drum/cymbal crash)

Anonymous said...

Fantabulous! The headline got me, but then I read the attorney's address. The names clicked just after I read the street address - no Richmond Street in SF! I bow to your brilliance.

Truly awesome. Right up there with today's news that MLB has named the Episcopal Church as their official denomination.

IC

Krysta said...

that was just WRONG! on soooo many levels!

pdxblogmommy said...

Brilliance. Of course, this is what we love about you.

Well, that and your chicken stack-ups.

learp17 said...

Gah! You almost got me too! To echo what lots of other commenters have said, you truly rock.

Daniel said...

well you had me going for a while - but seeing as its the 2nd of April here, and a whole day of odd news items I calmed down and stopped screaming

Tara said...

The first "article" had me going and then I started to think, "You know WHAT, this is April Fool's Day!" I was so glad because I love your blog! haha

Good one!

Anonymous said...

This was evil.

I'm in law school. I read legal documents all day. As soon as I saw "Cease and Desist" my heart stopped!

Anonymous said...

Holy shitpies, that was funny. I needed that -- WHOOT!

Dawn @ RMC said...

Genius. Especially loved the cc: Michael Bloomberg part.

I think you done topped yourself, girl! :)

Weezy said...

My favorite part was the attorney...a "Golden Girl's" fan!!!!

MrsVJW said...

So... by exclusion... we can assume he approves of the thought that some stages of some of his recipes result in something like looks like Grimace vomit?

Surprising, indeed.

Dolores said...

BRILLIANT April Fool! And way to end a weary day with a laugh.

Chloe said...

I saw that April 1 at the top of the page, and immediately knew it was a joke. Nice addition of the "Hardy Har Har" label.

I would have been really sad if this site had actually been shut down!

Liz McGhee said...

That was fantastic...but do you think Thomas Keller may really send you a cease-and-desist now since you portrayed him criticizing REO Speedwagon? Love the phone number!

namastenancy said...

BOY and howdy! You nearly got me and I was vowing never to patronize, buy cookbooks or sully the doorstep off...and then, I got it. You are clever- not only in the kitchen but with words as well. Looking forward to your next foray into the wild and wicked ways of French Laundry Cooking.

midwife said...

omg. you totally got me for a second! i was so sad!

Mean Lawyer said...

Rats and I was hoping for another newly discovered TFL recipe this year. I stocked up on Spam and Vienna sausages so I could follow along. Instead I get fauxlaw.

You know, we lawyers hate it when people other than fellow lawyers make us look like nasty SOBs.

BTW, Deconstructed Delia actually "got" me.

Anonymous said...

ugh, when will bloggers stop doing stuff like this on April 1??????????

davidL said...

lol!

E said...

Damn funny! I usually check late in the week to see what you made, so would have missed it if not for Ruhlman's site linking to it! That is classic. Keep up the good work, what's next after you are done, Bouchon?

Anonymous said...

We object to this particular statement because Mr. Keller does not use, nor would he ever use, the word "non-sewingosity." HAHAHA best word ever. I had to wipe a tear a way from the first part of the letter. and Reo speedwagon, lol.. you know in the early laundry days that shit was rocking 24/7 up in that kitchen. your aprils fools is better then google's mission to mars flight. I was going to call the attorney in the morning and tell her to fuck off! anyway peace your blog kicks ass. keep it up