Saturday, February 2, 2008

Big Pimpin'

Hey there, all you sexy chickens.

I found out today that a couple of you gorgeous, gorgeous creatures nominated me for Culinate's Death By Chocolate contest.

Does that mean you want to kill me? With cocoa goodness?

No, it does not.

Apparently, it means you think I need to spend a day tasting confections and drinking wine at a festival (which wouldn't suck) AND eat dinner at The French Laundry (OH MY GOD THAT WOULD SO NOT SUCK). Because those are the prizes.

You guys rock. Thanks for thinking of me.

Problem is, I've only really done two posts about chocolate, and I'm not sure they're exciting enough for me to win those fabulous prizes. The judges (David Lebovitz and Smitten Kitchen's Deb, among others) will be tough... oh yes, they will. They will crack their whip of judginess and say something like, "Oh, how we'd love to have Carol as a finalist or maybe even win, but would America vote for her? Can she bring it? Does she have what it takes to become America's Next Top Mod... Um, I mean, can she cook? With chocolate? And is she cool and awesome and wearing a really cute sweater right now and totally deserving of this prize? Are her readers some badass mofos who can turn out the vote?"

I totally know that's what they're thinking, and I also totally (who am I with all these totallys, Moon Unit Zappa?) know you can turn out the vote. So, where there's a will, there's a way. And believe it or not, there's something in it for you, too.

If you cast a vote for French Laundry at Home in this contest, you are automatically entered to win some pretty fabulous stuff yerself, like a trip to Napa to attend the Death By Chocolate Festival (airfare included)! Or, you might win some cookbooks, candy, or other groovy stuff. Go ahead, have a click. It'll feel good. It's good practice for November when that other election comes our way. You know, the one in which you will elect my boyfriend, Mike Bloomberg, to take over 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Yeah, so now you can practice your voting skillz by electing me First Lady of Chocolate and Dinner At The French Laundry. I need to do research there before our (Mike's and my) first State Dinner at the White House. Ahem.

Starting Monday, February 4, click on this little thingamajigger to make some magic happen:

Who knows? Maybe we'll BOTH win, and we can fly out to Napa and hang out together and grab a bite to eat and do the whole "no you're pretty, no you're pretty" thing for the afternoon. And, if you're a girl, later that night we can change into our jammies and have a pillow fight (*coughcough*desperate use of imagery to get the male vote *coughcough*). Or, if you're a guy, we can hang out, drink wine, and have a burping contest. You know, whatevs.

But seriously, if you feel compelled to throw a vote or two my way here it is again -- click away:

I won't be too sad if I lose. I'll just lay here in bed, for days, crying, wondering if you all ever really did love me... and then, I will get your phone number, call you up and sing "No Diggity" into your voice mail and song-poison you. ("I like the way you work it, no diggity, I got to bag it up (bag it up)" -- I'll stop singing when you start voting! Don't make me get to the Hey Yos or the Play Ons.)


Unknown said...

Count my vote for you! Whoot!

Anonymous said...

Wow! You have my vote..... Dinner at FL? OMG (though I have no doubt you'll do that sometime, contest or no contest)! Let's go rock the vote.

Anonymous said...

I think you should have a good chance... you might have noticed that one of the people at the festival in Napa is Claire Clark who is the current pastry chef from the French Laundry...kharma?

Anonymous said...

I've never been called a sexy chicken before, so thanks for that.

No need to threaten me with your singing, you have my vote.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

According to the index of the French Laundry cookbook, there are six recipes with chocolate (not including the duck recipe calling for bittersweet powder)

So, if you've only done two, that leaves four to go! Increased chocolate posts would be a good way to entice votes, though of course I'd never suggest kickbacks or vote-buying schemes. What do I look like, a politician?

Anonymous said...

And yes, I am a bad-ass mofo. Or so I'm told.

Anonymous said...

With complete devotion to French Laundry at Home I registered and THINK I voted. When I click on FL@H it launched the blog page and doesn't say VOTED or some such. There is a lovely red check by FL@H in the list.
????? Let me know if I blew it because I SO want YOU (AND ME)to indulge to the max at TFL.
From one sexy chicken to another.

Anonymous said...

but i *like* the no diggity song.

Brad S said...

You've got to go original for this contest, yet French Laundry/Keller inspired. 2 word -- chocolate offal.


Anonymous said...

You get my vote just for referencing Blackstreet.

Anonymous said...

Now I've got that dang song plastered in my head! Argh!!! You still rock, though; you've got my vote.

pcracken said...

You definitely deserve to win, you're an incredibly entertaining writer (maybe I should have said totally?), and make awesome food to boot.

You've got at least one member of the male vote. :)

learp17 said...

You got my vote! I am in love with your blog. Since I will very likely never get to eat at the culinary pantheon that is the French Laundry, I live vicariously through you. And you take such lovely photos. I do love good food photos.

Anonymous said...

I not only voted for you, I took a Culinate endless-loop website error for about 10 minutes before it "took" my registration and vote. You rock!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, Carol, I so didn't want to join anothern website - only for you, cupcake, only for you. Wonder if I can vote for you twice? You know, looking back at that post, it was a real Carol Klassic. If the judges don't give you the win, well they would be fools.

See you at TFL. Bring pillows and start burping.

amber said...

totally voted! i really hope you win m'dear :)